Dear Ann Landers:
I am 29 years old, and my husband, "Jeff," is 25. We met a year ago, and after six months of dating, we were married in a civil ceremony in Las Vegas by a justice of the peace. We had intended to have a big church wedding with all the trimmings a few months down the road, but that trip to Las Vegas changed everything. We figured our parents would be upset if they knew about the quick hitching in Nevada, so we decided not to tell them.
I met Jeff's parents at Christmas, and they were very sweet to me, assuming that we were engaged and living together. We sat down w
ith his folks and planned a lovely church wedding. Several days before the event, my in-laws somehow found out about our civil ceremony in Las Vegas and became very upset. Jeff's father said it was a waste of time for him to travel eight hours to see a "fake wedding." He refused to come.
Jeff's mother hollered at us for a solid hour, which made me a nervous wreck. Nevertheless, she did show up, along with Jeff's brother. On top of that, three of Jeff's best friends were angry that we hadn't told them we were married in Nevada, and they folded out at the last minute. I was left with three unescorted bridesmaids. As you can imagine, the wedding was a disaster.
I realize we should have told Jeff's family that we already were married, but nonetheless, I think their behavior was unbelievably rude. It ruined what should have been the most beautiful day of my life. My family, thankfully, was very supportive.
Meanwhile, Jeff and I have been fighting nonstop since everything hit the fan. I am seriously considering divorce. Please give me some sensible advice.
— Lost That Loving Feeling in Texas
You can learn a lot about Ann Landers here and you may see Ann Landers' response here.
21 comentarios:
Juan I think that this girl had better talk with “Jeff” and understand that was a reaction that he had with his family for all that they did. She has to first talk with her husband and them should go to talk with his parents and try to result and explain why they didn`t tell about their civil ceremony in Las Vegas.
Dear friend,
The only way to fix problems like this is the dialogue. You should make them understand that they are very important persons in your life and if you didn’t invited them to the ceremony in Las Vegas was becouse it was suddenly but really you want share this great even with all them, becouse they are your family now. And with your husband you have to be pacient, talk everything and you will see everything is going to be right.
Dear Girl,
I can tell you that the way to solve this problem is talking to your husband, you should have patience with Jeff because is his family and all of this is harder for him, you ought to speak with his family too and try to explain them the situation, why you did this. Make sure that they understand that the most important thing in a family is the support. If the love is really strong between you, it is going to win, don´t let your marriage disappears.
Dear friend,
I think the things happened that way and it`s too late to repent. You should go ahead and live their lives the best while passing the chagrin of their parents. Had better to be happy and nurturing home that you have formed.
Sometimes it is better to pursue happiness, no matter what others say.
Well I think when something happens better is that something better will come: But I think she should talk to her family and jeff family and tell them the whole truth, and with reference to her fights with "jeff" should try to talk to him and try to fix this situation.
Dear Lost,
I supposed you must be shattered and I'm sorry about all happened; but I think that if you're still loving your husband, you're going to have to do something quickly to fix up this problem.
I mean, you and your husband havent't commited a crime, so you should explain to Jeff's family that you and he are adult enough to take decisions and they must be conmprehensive about your acts.
If I was you, I'd rather move away with Jeff to another place while his family get relaxe. You ought to be lovely and supportive with Jeff.
Then if the relationship gets better, you've got to make up your mind if you want to talk to Jeff's family, because I think it's necessary explain them that it was a mistake not to told them your plans and that it was just a "crazy trip of love".
Remember, you'd better not fight with your husband's family because after all, they were very sweet to you and it's not worth lose them.
I think that Ann and Jeff should talk to their families and spontaneous as they think, what they feel or felt at that moment, so perhaps the families and friends understand that married so hastily without consultation.
From what the divorce, they deverian talk about what they think and feel for each other and thus settle their differences, given that the problems are outside the couple's family each.
I think she has to make a hard decision, so the first that She had better do is talk Jeff's parents and explain the reasons that she and Jeff decided not to tell them about the civil ceremony in Las Vegas, because is difficult to them understand the situation. They fell upset because their son was married and they didn't know about it.
She shouldn't get a divorce is an extremely decision. If she loves her husband so much, she ought to make up her husband.
Please take easy and relax.
The story is very crazy and incredible ...
I can imagine that this narration isnt very common, but better thinking is not the truth. In the actual world the society live a life of pressure , impatiently and wanting to take a decisions not thinking on the concequences. In my opinion: First you shouldnt hold a civil ceremony so fast becouse this date was very important for your family they re had all the rigth for being upset but arent necessary that their disgust change everything for the relationship betwen you and jeff i recomend you that going to have do something to talk with your folks and jeff s family for explain this crazyness and then would rather for you, fix the comunication of you and your love jeff .
Bye good look
Diana rivera
http://dianariverapinilla.blogspot.com
Well, Dear:
There are many things to evaluate in this case. It seems to me that, certainly, the marriage should be for the rest in your lifes; but if you don't understand to your husband or in the opposite side... the problem isn't the family or the church wedding like you dreamed.
You're right, when you say that the behavior family's Jeff was rude enough, because somehow it was the marriage's day, but you ought to find the right moment with your husband to talk about this problem seriously. You're beginning a new life and you can't afford to solve this "problem" with a quick divorce.
Actually, you should think about how important is your husband for you, how much you love him, and the reason why you decided to get married with Jeff.
Finally, you'd better calm down if you're discussing. In whatever moment, someone of two can says things that hurt to other. Be carefull with these situations!!
I'm sure, that you and Jeff will solve your things and problems! and the last one thing to remember: Loving to your husband for over all, and he loves you in the same way; is the real meaning of church wedding.
God bless you
Vanessa Senior
http://vanesenior.blogspot.com
your story is amazing i never had read a story as incredible as this.
I think that you took a good decision, but If you loved yor husband had given him a chance because he was not to blame for what happened.
well. that`s my comment about the story and I love this story. bye.
I think that you should take other opportunity with your husband. You did not think what will be later... And then try to do your best and talk a lot with everybody to fix this situation. Bye. Laura :)
I think this story is interesting, the advice that I can give her is that she should think very well, what she want do with her marriege, but she feel that is fighting and her effort does not working she had better consider the divorce
Dear Jeff's wife:
It's a pleasure to read your letter, don't take decisions that it will make you regret later.
It's better than you think and make the best decision both for your well-being and for your husband.
Take a time to relax and talk to family, they mean soon.
You'd better talk to your husband about your feelings and make an effort to forget that matter which make you feel bad. You ought to forgive people who hurt you. Remember your husband isn't one of those people. He's totally innocent. He loves you and I know you still love him,So you should remember the good times together and begin again from 0.
I think when a couple decide to marry either in a celebration by Church or Civil, they do it for love and this feeling has to overcome all obstacles but, although was wrong not to tell their relatives all about the plans you had together; can not ignore the opinion, wishes and happiness of the couple are first of all.
Mayra
I think you should let time passes and the wounds heal with your family, that reaction from them is temporary and our parents usually do not support such acts of madness that suddenly occur to us, especially when it comes to love.
You must fight for your relationship with Jeff and don't let this end with the great love he feels for you, you are a young couple who have to know how to handle these problems in partnerships which occur after these many issues. You have to discuss with maturity and try that doesn't affect you sentimentally.
I think that you should talk with your husband.It's better to fix things before making bad decisions, you can't think that merriage is easy.Your marriage has to go problems, but you should take with calm.
Don't worry about think Jeff' father becouse if you love him nobody can separate.
I hope my advice will help you bye
Well, in the life always we have to think before do or say something, in this story doesn`t do that. I think than that woman have to figh for her relation, maybe their families will accept after.
my advice is... Figh for what do you want.
bye...
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